All But The Most Severe by Aidan Moffat

All But The Most Severe by Aidan Moffat was first published in Gutter 14 as part of our Spoken Word Issue. You can listen to it here:

All But the Most Severe
Common side effects, occurring in more than 1% of patients, include: itchiness, rashes,
migraine, changes in taste, decreased libido or impotence, failure to orgasm, painful
menstruation, tingling in fingers or toes, loss of memory or concentration, loss of memory or
concentration, increased or lack of appetite, mood changes, anxiety, confusion, a fear of
everything and everyone, yawning, indigestion, vomiting, stomach-ache, wind, immunity to
booze (so you can’t even drink yourself away), increased saliva, changes in weight, dizziness on
standing up, a fast heartbeat, changes in blood pressure, runny nose, sinusitis, changes in
passing urine, and dreams of death where the world’s the wrong way round and you fall up into
a bright blue abyss.
Uncommon side effects, occurring in less than 1% of patients, include: muscle pain,
convulsions, increased libido, coughing, abnormal movement of the face or body, ringing in the
ears, mood changes, slowing of the heartbeat, sensitivity of skin to light, sensitivity of soul to
shit songs, allergic reactions, and fainting.
Occasionally, thoughts of smears on tracks or bathfuls of blood may occur or may
increase in the first few weeks of treatment.